And now, a great guest entry from Ellen on how to not make things tougher on a friend who is unemployed and looking for a job. Ellen?
Say “how are you?” just as you would with any other person, then let him bring it into the conversation. As with any life adversity, sometimes people want to…
1. Getting a good job is exciting, you probably don’t need to ask about the job search, if there is any news worth sharing you will hear about it.
2. This issue tends to be brought up any time you see someone who is not a part of your daily life. Don’t add to the number of times the person has to put up with these questions. They are painful reminders of something that person is trying to fix but has little control over when it will change. Also I’ve found there is no way for both parties to leave this topic feeling satisfied, not without the answer everyone’s waiting for, the yes, not to mention it is incredibly hard to not feel a myriad of negative emotions when asked.
3. It is boring, annoying, repetitive, tedious, and generally not interesting to discuss what a person is doing to search for a job and to listen to random suggestions. Wanting to help suggest solutions comes from a nice instinct to want to help, but much like saying things like “everything happens for a reason” in the face of terrible circumstances, this is more like twisting a knife. Chances are that person has spent way more time thinking about their job search than the 0.5 seconds it has taken you to come up with your suggestion, and almost all advice about job searches are the same. Don’t believe me? Try searching it. Also, adults know how to ask for help, if someone wants suggestions about what more they could be doing, let them be the one to ask.